Restraint On haitus
by Lemonadier
Summary: Like a little sequel to Recognize. On hiatus until completed with recognize. Like a part three that came out too early!Things are starting to change for Morgan and Reid. Whether they know it or not. Someone is out for blood.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: New little chapter. New story. I guess it will be a slight little sequel. _**

**_I hope you enjoy! _**

**_I don't on the characters. _**

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The team was flying back from a case that had everyone fuming. The unsub was a derange psychopath with a slight narcissistic attitude. The unsub took it upon himself to prove that he was better than normal society, and of course, he took an interest in the one person who wasn't exactly a part of that norm.

He held a group of people hostage, holding them in a small store with a bomb strapped around his chest. One wrong move, and everyone was going to die. Rossi tried to reason with the unsub, but all the unsub wanted was, Dr. Reid.

Morgan wasn't going to have it, neither was JJ. They were going to find another way. They had to find another way. They knew that if they sent Reid in, then he would most likely die with the unsub. What angered everybody the most was that Reid disobeyed orders and ran into the building when everyone had their backs turned. All hostages were let out, but Reid was trapped in the store with the unsub, who used Reid as leverage to escape, taking Reid with him.

No one was able to find Reid or the unsub after that. He was practically gone. Morgan was about to go crazy. No one knew how the man felt for him, besides JJ and Garcia. Morgan hadn't mustered up the courage to tell them.

When he almost lost the last bit of sanity, one phone call was all it took to put an end to everyone's nightmare. The unsub had killed himself after he thought Reid had gotten away. They were a whole state away. Once they got there, they found out Reid had a concussion and a slightly messed up shoulder, but that was it. Their relief was soon replaced with anger and Reid found himself getting the cold shoulder and a talk with Hotch.

That's why he was now sitting by himself in the back of the plane. He felt bad but he didn't regret anything. He knew he was treading on the very thin line of suspension, but what was he supposed to do? Sit there and watch people die? This was all just a game to the unsub. Either he played or those people died. They should've known by now that he wouldn't listen to them. He sighed and leaned into the seat, trying to disappear. All he wanted to do was go to sleep, but a part of him was too alert to even try. He looked around. Hotch was buried in his paperwork, most likely having to write down why the unsub was killed and how a federal agent got in the hands of an unsub. Rossi was trying to read, but Reid knew that he really wasn't. JJ was talking quietly to Prentiss, most likely discussing his recent actions, and finally, his eyes locked on Morgan's. Quickly, Reid adverted his eyes. He didn't want to see the disappointment in Morgan's eyes. He also didn't want to see the disapproval. Maybe Morgan will finally leave him. Maybe he really had done it this time. Maybe Morgan thought he was suicidal. Reid shrugged, let Morgan think whatever he wanted. He was just going to go home and sleep the anxiety away. After all, they had a whole weekend off. He just wanted to shut off his phone, shut off his brain, and just relaxed. Lose himself in a book or ten. It would be worth it.

He smelled him before he saw him. Morgan sat right in front of him, just looking at him. Reid waited patiently. He waited for Morgan to hurry up and yell at him for being stupid, not thinking anything through. Instead he was only greeted with silence. Reid didn't like it, and he knew that he didn't have to deal with it. Reid waited 30 more seconds for Morgan to say something, but he didn't. With a sigh, Reid just got up and headed towards the small kitchen where coffee would be awaiting him. He knew the team's eyes were on him, now that he had just left Morgan without so much as a word. He sighed, this was just getting to be too much. Why are they so worried? Signing up for the job meant that there were sacrifices. He didn't care if he died. All he wanted was to make sure everyone else lived. Their job is dangerous. Everyone had risked their lives willingly when they wanted too. When it was something _he_ believed in, why is it such a crime?

Reid closed his eyes tightly and gripped the counter. He was working himself up. Now wasn't the time for that. He felt a soft hand on his shoulder and he turned around and saw that it was JJ.

He saw the slight sadness and worry in her eyes, and he felt bad. He leaned against the counter and waited once more, for her to speak first. He doesn't know why he refuses to apologize and put an end to this strain among the team. Maybe he just had enough. _'Do you have enough?'_ He heard a voice say in the back of his mind. Reid pushed the thought aside and watched as JJ looked away.

"How are you, Spence," JJ said quietly, so the team couldn't eavesdrop. The question took him off guard. He expected her to say something on the lines of, _'What you did today was stupid. You had me worried.' _

Spencer just shook his head. He felt awful. He was angry, sad, hurt, and he felt shunned. He was the elephant in the jet plane right now. He felt like the tension was heavy enough to keep the plane from flying in the air.

"Confused," Spencer admitted and turned to make himself a cup of coffee. JJ watched him with slight interest. She noticed that he didn't even put sugar in the coffee.

"Why are you confused?" She asked. She knew the team could hear them. They were too quiet and it is a small plane.

"It doesn't matter," Spencer shrugged and walked past her. He sat elsewhere. Since Morgan now occupied his sulking area, and JJ took away his mini lonely room. He wasn't about to just sit in the little restroom. So he moved to the very front. Where everyone was now behind him. He took a sip of his coffee and made a face. In his haste, he forgot to put sugar in it. Reid simply just rested his head down. They will never understand. He had to admit, though, it was deeper than just the people he didn't want to see die. There was understanding. Reid sympathized with the unsub. Maybe not so much the narcissistic side, but he understood why the man became a psychopath. Things happen and people change. One thing that Reid would remember was the last words Harold Manning had said to him.

_"Stop fighting your demons. If you look deep enough into your own mind, into your own body, you'll realize that what the demons feel, what you feel, are exactly the same. You're on the same side."_

Maybe the unsub was right. Maybe he should stop fighting his demons. Maybe he should stop caring. He'd be happier. He wouldn't have to answer to anyone, but in the process. Morgan would be hurt. So would JJ. Everyone. Reid was so confused. So much had happened in the past month and a half that gave him so much happiness. Why throw it away just because everyone was a little upset that he made a bad decision. If it was Morgan in his place, he'd be upset, but he wouldn't just look at Morgan silently. He would actually talk to him. Not drag it out. _Morgan's leaving you._ Reid pushed the thought aside. After everything that has happened why would Morgan leave him? Reid could count a number of reasons why Morgan should leave him. It didn't matter, all he knows is that the next week will be tense.

…

Morgan didn't know what got do. Reid had put his life in jeopardy one too many times. Usually Reid would apologize and look really sorry. This time, Reid looked… the complete opposite. He didn't apologize, he showed no sympathy for their feelings… For _his_ feelings. Morgan wondered if Reid knew how much he had hurt him when he thought the may never see the genius again. He wondered if Reid knew how much anger, relief, and pain he felt when they found Reid… Physically hurt. But was that it? Morgan didn't think so. The Reid he knew before the unsub was way different from the Reid he sees now. Morgan leaned back into his seat and watched as JJ slid in the space Reid had occupied when Morgan sat in front of him.

"I don't know what's wrong with him," JJ admitted. She wished she could help Morgan understand Reid a bit more, but this time, she couldn't understand him.

"He's not okay," Morgan mumbled.

"Yeah," JJ sighed. "Maybe he'll feel better afterwards." She guessed. Morgan only shook his head.

"I'm worried about him. He barely spoke ten words to me," Morgan said with a frown.

"He barely spoke to any of us," JJ added in. She didn't want Morgan to put the blame on himself.

"Well that's true, but we have something that you all don't. We are supposed to tell each other everything. Do you think he's getting tired of me? Is he trying to hint that he wants me to leave him alone?" Morgan questioned quietly.

"Morgan, I honestly don't know what's going on with him. I mean, usually if he's about to dump anyone he gets pretty jittery, and he looks downright depressed. Just… Give Spence some time. I think that's all he needs," JJ advised with a sad smile.

"I hope you're right," Morgan sighed.

"Me too," She said getting up and placing a soft hand on Morgan's shoulder before going back to her original seat.

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_**A/N: A little depressing huh?**_

_**I hope it's good!**_

_**Feel free to leave a review!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Totally not a oneshot! Thanks for being interested in the story!**_

_**Lol I hope you enjoy!**_

_**I don't own the characters..**_

_**P.S. This chapter started off terrible, so bear with me please lol**_

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He didn't know when he fell asleep. But the look on JJ's face told him that they landed. She smiled softly and with a slight movement of her head, he got up and followed her heading towards the black SUV. No one had said a word. He was glad they were split up. Although he would've been more comfortable if Morgan had went in the other SUV. He knew Morgan would follow him. Reid simply closed his eyes and the small hum of the engine occupy his senses.

…

Garcia stood in the middle of the bullpen waiting for her friends to stroll in. She always waited for them. It was a ritual. She knew that they weren't exactly going to be their happiest due to Reid's recent actions, but she could still hope, right? Hotch entered first, looking grim, and soon everyone followed with stonily expressions. No one had said a word. She was only given a small hug from Morgan.

"Did he say anything to anyone?" Garcia questioned glancing at Reid.

"No mama, he didn't, unless you count JJ," Morgan frowned as he fixed up his desk.

"I hope he is alright," Garcia sighed as she walked away.

Reid wished he didn't just hear their short conversation. He was tired of it all, ready to leave. Before Morgan, or anyone else, could approach him, he was gone. He knew it would end up with the team calling him multiple times throughout the weekend, but just for safe measures, he shut off his phone. He wanted to be _truly alone_. He could only hope that there wouldn't be a case. Reid laughed bitterly at the thought. Usually, he tried to avoid being alone. He hated the loneliness. Somehow, the team recognized this and always tried to be there for him. This time, he wanted—_needed_—to be alone. Reid pursed his lips as he made his way into the subway tunnel. He was itching to get back to his mini-sanctuary. He feigned a small smile as an elderly lady looked at him. He was not surprised that she smiled back. She was sweet. An easy target. Reid frowned. He didn't like to think like that, but with the job he has, and an overactive mind, he was able to see everyone as a potential victim. Reid looked down and shook his head. Why fight the ability? Finally they reached his stop. He quickly exited the subway. As he walked down the street, he couldn't help the strange feeling that he was being followed. He turned around, no one was there. Frowning, he continued to walk straight ahead. _'You're losing it!'_ He chastised himself. It didn't make him feel any better, if anything, he had a bad feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. He walked a bit faster, having the feeling that if he didn't get to his apartment soon, then he may never make it there.

He looked behind him once more, and was relieved to see nobody there. "Just calm down," He told himself. Maybe it was the concussion he gained from the previous unsub. No one was _really_ there. He was just on _edge_. At least that's what he was telling himself. He quickly walked up the stairs, ignoring the strange look he gained from his neighbor Mrs. Cavendal. He nodded in greeting and turned the knob on the front door of his apartment. Reid froze as the door opened. He _locked_ the door when he left. The door _wasn't_ locked when he got back. Reid wasn't sure if he should enter or run back out. Reid scowled at his indecisiveness. He pulled out his gun and simply pointed it straight ahead. Using one hand to flick on the light, he quickly scanned the room. He followed the same procedure once in the kitchen. Turn on light, point, and be ready to shoot. The bad feeling in his stomach increased. Maybe he shouldn't have wished for loneliness. Maybe he should just call Morgan. He walked down the long hallway, this time, not daring to turn on any lights. He knew that if someone was there, they would know he's approaching. He kept his footsteps light. The laundry room was clear. The bathroom was clear. All there was left was the bedroom. He quickly stepped in. Checking behind the door just in case the intruder was trying to be slick, but what caught his attention was the open window… And a note…

…

JJ thought about calling Reid. He left without saying goodbye. That wasn't like him. She knew she shouldn't expect much, given that he _is_ upset, but he was one for pushing his feelings to the side. Trying to assure everyone that he was fine, or even not bothered. This time, he let his emotions be known. He clearly showed them that he was not in a good mood. JJ sighed and leaned back into her seat at her desk. She should get home. Henry would be going to bed soon, but she still couldn't help but worry about Reid.

She stood defiantly and locked up her office. She saw Hotch doing the same.

"Did you finish your report?" JJ questioned, hoping it would keep her mind off Spencer.

"Yes. Did Reid leave?" Hotch questioned looking around. Usually Reid left around the same time as him and JJ. Sometimes he left with Morgan.

"Yeah, he left right after we got here," JJ said softly.

"I'll have to talk to him soon," Hotch said grimly.

"Why?" JJ questioned.

"I can't tell you just yet," Hotch deadpanned, although a part of JJ knew the true reason why.

"I understand," JJ said sadly. This was going to hurt Reid more than anyone would believe. She knew that Reid would be devastated. Why couldn't Hotch pull any strings? JJ sighed and followed Hotch on the way out. This was probably going to get worse. She hoped not.

"Maybe Morgan could talk to him," JJ said in effort to help her best friend.

"You already saw how Reid reacted to Morgan. Plus I made a promise to Reid. I have to go through with it or he will never learn," Hotch said once they were in the elevator.

"I think we should give him one more chance. The unsub asked for him. It wasn't like he was holding back information," JJ reasoned.

"That may be so, but he disobeyed orders. I have let them slip before, but this cannot become a habit. It's either this or a possible dead Reid. I can't afford to take that chance," Hotch said and the elevator dinged. JJ didn't have anything else to say to that. Hotch was right, but she felt like he was being too hard on Spence. After all, it was either that or all those innocent people died. She was angry that he went ahead and left, but she didn't think the repercussion had to be at that extreme.

"Have a nice night Hotch," JJ said as they walked into the garage.

"Thanks, you too," Hotch called back and got into his car to leave. He dreaded the day he would have to speak with Reid. Would it be the right thing to do?

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_**A/N: Should this story be a "mini-sequel" ? Or should it just be friendship? I can easily edit it! **_

_**I hope you enjoyed it!**_

_**Feel free to leave your thoughts! (Esp. If it should be a romance or not!)**_

_**Thanks! Have a great day!**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Haha ! I think I know where this story is officially going, but a little guidance is fine with me! Thanks for following and favoriting as well!_**

**Warning!****_ Reid will be a little OOC in this chapter!_**

**_I do not own criminal mind's characters!_**

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_Surprise._

Reid stared at the note with dissatisfaction. Someone broke into his house and that's all they had to say. Surprise? Where they expecting him to get scared? Panic? Feel anxious? Maybe he would have had this been a whole different day, but he simple threw the note on his bed stand. He could care less if they came back at night and chopped his legs off. He closed the window, locking it in the process. All he wanted to do was relax. He walked back to the living room and sat on the couch. He tried to clear his thoughts, taking deep breaths as he imagined darkness. For some reason, he only pictured the disappointed, angry looks from his team. However he remembered the smile the unsub wore on his face as he took his own life. Was the unsub right? Should he just stop caring about everything and do what he wants? No personal restraint. Reid wasn't too sure what to think. He was still confused. The unsub was a psychopath! He was a master manipulator! He had no emotions whatsoever. Then again, the unsub allowed Reid into his world. Reid knew why the unsub was who he was. The unsub just stopped fighting with himself. He became one, found peace, and did what made him happy. Why can't Reid be like that? Reid opened his eyes. He was treading on a thin line and he knew it. All it takes is those type of thoughts to push you into being something bad. A monster. Reid sighed. He couldn't be a monster. But why not indulge in the pleasures that won't harm anyone else. Reid smiled at the thought. It wasn't a bad idea after all.

He got up and decided to get a shower. Then he would just relax. No matter what. He deserved it. He grabbed some clothes to sleep in and stepped in the bathroom. He locked the door behind him, just in case someone decides to try a break in and ruin his chance of relaxing. He swore if anyone came in, the intruder or Morgan, he was going to give them hell. He was done with it all.

Once out of the shower, he was still slightly on edge. He just couldn't shake that bad feeling off. Reid glanced towards his bed stand. He knew Morgan would be mad, but, Morgan would never know. Even if he found out, what could he do? Reid refused to let his conscious come into play. He just wanted to relax.

He walked over to his bed stand and opened up the drawer. He glanced towards the note, but ignored the slight apprehension that came with it. A part of him was still surprised that someone was in his apartment.

He pulled out the little baggie with the small white pills in them. He knew Morgan thought that when he confiscated them that Reid would never get them, but Reid was smart. He offered to do Morgan's laundry, and with that, Reid simply took them out of the man's pocket and kept them. Reid stared at them. It's not like he actually used them. This would be the first time since he was drugged. No one would even know, and the cravings were manageable afterwards. He stopped thinking about everything and simply took the pill. He threw the bag back in the drawer and walked back into his living room, laying on the couch. He automatically felt every muscle in his body relax. He smiled as the relief filled him. The small rational part of his brain told him that he was not making the right decision, but Reid shrugged.

"When I listened to you I'm miserable in the end. So shut up," He said in defiance. He was finally happy.

…

Morgan paced his floor. Reid hasn't been answering his phone. In fact, the phone was off. He wasn't sure if Reid was in trouble, or just that upset to where he locked himself in his home. Reid knew how Morgan felt about him shutting people out. Morgan always told Reid that it was better to say what was on his mind. Reid decided to just keep everything in! It was so obvious. Maybe the team shouldn't have openly showed how upset Reid had made them. Then again, Reid could make the same mistake again! Morgan frowned. He was too conflicted as well. A small part of him felt like he was losing the genius all together. Morgan sighed. He couldn't take this anymore. He grabbed his keys and decided that it would be a good time to pay the kid a visit.

…

Reid kept his eyes closed. He felt too good to try and sleep it off. He wanted to remember this feeling. He snuggled into the couch a bit more. A small part of him wished he brought a blanket, but he couldn't move. He was just too relaxed to move. The drug was nearly paralyzing, and he enjoyed it. This was peaceful. No worries whatsoever. He felt all tingly inside and he didn't want it to go away. He watched as the ceiling spun slowly. Any other time, he'd probably be panicking, but he asked for this. Even though the slight change in colors were kind of strange, he felt that they enhanced everything.

Far away, he heard a knock. He wasn't sure if it was on his door, or maybe someone down the hall. Either way, he just ignored it. It's not like he would move willingly.

"Kid open the door! I know you're in there!" He heard someone shout. The use of words were familiar, but the voice was slightly distorted. Should he be worried? Maybe that pill wasn't the exact one Mark drugged him with. This one messed with his mind a bit more. Reid simply rolled over on the couch. They'd go away eventually.

The pounding on the door grew louder and Reid found himself wincing from the slight headache forming in his head. Whoever was at that door was angering him. A part of him was ready to shoot whoever thought it was nice to keep shouting through the door. Haven't they got the message? Suddenly, the door flew open. Reid frowned. He just got that door fixed. He focused and saw that it was Morgan. All the anger disappeared.

"Hey," Reid said with a small smile. He knew deep down that had he not taken that pill, he'd be shouting at Morgan for breaking the door… Again.

"Spencer, why didn't you answer the door?" Morgan said taking a deep breath. He was really starting to panic. For a second he thought Reid would have tried to… It didn't matter, he was here. Lounging on the couch.

"I-I didn't feel like getting up," Reid said almost perfectly. Reid knew Morgan would write it off as sleepiness.

"You could've said something. I thought something bad had happened to you," Morgan said crossing his arms. He was slightly irritated at Reid's nonchalance. Reid sighed and sat up. He was actually really surprised he could do that. He felt so good. Maybe Morgan needs something to help him relax.

"I missed you, come here," Reid smiled as he watched the irritation wash off of Morgan's face. Morgan couldn't help but lose all anger away from the kid he had come to love. He was just so adorable, and he did say the right words most times. Morgan walked towards Reid and sat down next to him. Reid inwardly had a small moment of panic. He was high on whatever, and he just invited Morgan closer. Morgan's a profiler, he would notice! Reid inwardly cursed. He should've thought of that earlier.

"Were you sleeping?" He heard Morgan ask. Reid nodded and leaned into him.

"Yeah. I was," Reid lied, and he knew Morgan would believe him.

"Yeah, I can tell Pretty Boy. You act like you're still asleep," Morgan said raising an eyebrow. That didn't seem possible. The way Reid was breathing could pass as if he was sleeping. Morgan slowly grabbed Reid's hand. He acted as if he was just messing with Reid's hand, but he placed a finger on Reid's wrist, and felt for his pulse. He was surprised to feel that it was slowed as well. He felt Reid shift and he simple turned to face the genius. Reid backed away in slight surprise. Since when does Morgan want him off?

Morgan looked at Reid carefully. Reid looked towards the ground. Reid wasn't too sure if his pupils were dilated or constricted. He didn't want to take that chance.

"Reid, how tired are you?" Morgan asked carefully. Reid thought. He could say he was very tired and that would be reasonable, but he wasn't sure why Morgan was asking. Reid simply looked up at Morgan and smiled. When Morgan looked back in confusion, Reid simply gave Morgan a bone crushing hug. Not exactly his type of thing, but it would do. Morgan laughed at the random assault of affection, and simply hugged the kid back. Maybe that's all Reid needed, was a hug. Not a lecture or judgment. Just someone who was willing to hold him and make him feel better. Morgan looked down and Reid simply smiled up at him, before Morgan could ask him a question, Reid had simply kissed him. Morgan wasn't sure where all of this was coming from. In fact, Reid isn't the type of person who showed his feelings so bluntly. Morgan frowned slightly. This was not the Spencer he knew, but all thoughts were forgotten, when Reid pushed Morgan down onto the couch.

_'When did he become so dominant?'_ Morgan questioned in thought. He wasn't used to this. This was not Reid. Reid wouldn't even let them get this far. Morgan opened his eyes, and for once, wasn't too sure how to put an end to this all. That was usually Reid's job! Morgan had to think quickly, but with every thought, Reid had a different distraction in mind.

"Kid," Morgan managed to say in between a soft kiss. Reid simply made eye contact with Morgan. Waiting for him to continue with what he wanted to say. That's when Morgan saw it. Reid's pupils were dilated. He was definitely paler than usual, and he was breathing heavier, although that was probably not from what he thinks it is.

"You're—you're high?" Morgan questioned in disbelief. Reid almost cared… Almost. He simply laughed a little.

"Oops," Reid smiled although he mentally yelled at himself for not looking a bit worried himself. He could have easily played it off. Act like he took the wrong medication, or lie and say he went to a bar. Much to his disappointment, Morgan quickly sat up, grabbing Reid's arm roughly in the process. Reid watched in slight surprise and hurt when Morgan automatically lifted up his sleeve.

Morgan looked for the track marks. He didn't think that Reid would be using again! That was the last thing on his mind at least until now. He knew Reid was on it. He just couldn't find the evidence. He looked back up at Reid when he only found the faded track marks. He knew Reid wasn't going to tell him, and he was slightly angry at that thought. _'So much for trust,'_ Morgan grumbled in his head.

"Are we going to finish what I started, or are we going to play the staring game," Reid said raising an eyebrow. As if he wasn't upset enough, Morgan looked down and shook his head. He couldn't believe this. What happened to Reid? Morgan knew Reid probably didn't do this on his own. Reid was only addicted to dilauded. He knew someone else did this, and it angered him. Reid knew better!

"Spencer, did you go anywhere?" Morgan questioned looking up at Spencer who was watching him intently.

"That's not for you to know. Relax," Reid suggested with a small smile, but it only angered Morgan.

"How can I relaxed when you've been DRUGGED!" Morgan shouted angrily.

"Easily," Reid smirked, not even bothered by Morgan's anger. Morgan was breathing heavily and Reid simply rolled his eyes uncharacteristically and leaned back into the couch.

"Reid, you have to tell me," Morgan said trying to sound calm.

"I don't _have_ to tell you anything, and if you don't mind, either you stay here and enjoy the night, or you leave and let me relax here in peace," Reid snapped. Morgan blinked at him blankly. Reid simply closed his eyes as a wave of euphoria washed over him. This drug had him bouncing with different emotions. It was so fun!

"You need rest," Morgan mumbled. He almost got up and left. He just wasn't sure if someone was after the genius or not. Morgan couldn't imagine Reid doing this to himself, but who would drug him? Morgan felt the anger enter him slowly as the first person he could think of entered his mind. He knew exactly who could've done this. Morgan stood.

"Bye," Reid smiled and laid back down on the couch closing his eyes in the process. Morgan squatted down beside the genius and ran a hand through his hair. He could tell Reid had fell asleep.

"It won't let you down Spencer," Morgan whispered as he got back up and headed out of the apartment. The man was going to pay heavily for hurting Spencer _then_, and _now_.

* * *

**_A/n: I hope this was good, and not too OOC! (Okay, well that's a lie... He was.) Too bad Morgan doesn't know the truth... O.o_**

**_Feel free to leave your thoughts!_**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: I updated a bit faster than usual! But a bit of a warning! Dark themes definitely mentioned and acted upon! A few bad words! **_

_**Not the happiest chapter ever... O.o**_

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Morgan stormed up the stairs to the man's house not hesitating to bang on the door. He would have preferred to kick the door down, but he didn't want to possibly get charged fro breaking and entering. He continuously banged on the door, getting angrier with each moment. The door flew open and Morgan glared at the man who stood there smirking. That only fueled Morgan's anger. Mark watched as Morgan's hands balled into fists and he rose an eyebrow.

"Can I help you with something?" Mark questioned. Morgan took a deep breath. He could be civil. He had to make sure he was right.

"I went to visit Dr. Reid—"

"No need to be polite, I know you two are dating—Oh! I forgot! You are trying to keep it a secret," Mark giggled. And Morgan almost lost his cool. Almost.

"He was having a bad day, and I visited him, only to find out that he was on something. Something that only you would have," Morgan said pointedly.

"I told him he would have been happier with me. There's more where that came from. Tell me Agent Morgan, wasn't he so much more relaxed? He let his guard down and actually seemed happier. I hope you took advantage of that, because he is rarely that easy—"

Morgan's fist connected with the man's jaw. This time though, he made sure that he didn't knock the man unconscious. Morgan grabbed the man by his shirt and pulled him close.

"Listen to me," Morgan growled. "Don't you ever talk about him that way," Morgan said dangerously. Mark laughed.

"You should have saw the look on his face when—"

Morgan threw the man against the wall. He wanted to do this the day he got Reid. Morgan wasted no time as he threw a bone crushing punch to the man's face. Morgan didn't care if he killed the man. The man didn't deserve to live! Why Reid wanted to protect him was beyond Morgan's knowledge, but Reid wasn't here this time. When Mark fell to the floor, Morgan switched tactics as he started to kick the man. Morgan heard something crack and a shout escape from Mark's lips. He heard someone run down the stairs and Morgan spun around to be faced with Mark's sister. Oh if she wasn't a girl he would hurt her too. She looked scared.

Morgan took a deep breath and looked back at the bloodied version of what he saw only minutes ago.

"Stay away from him," Morgan warned. "Next time, you probably won't live." He sent a daring glance at Mark's sister and fixed his jacket before letting himself out. Morgan would have not stopped had she not came. He wasn't even done. How dare Mark speak of Spencer that way! Spencer was not easy. He was actually like steel. God, Reid rarely let Morgan kiss him for more than two seconds. Morgan shook his head angrily. He'd see what happened in due time. He looked at his watch and saw that it was already midnight. He wouldn't get to Reid until about one, given the distance. Morgan sighed and started the drive to Reid's apartment.

_'You left him there unsupervised. What if someone kidnaps him? The door is broken after all. They could just walk in on him,'_ Morgan's mind taunted. Morgan found himself panicking and driving faster than usual. He had to get back to Reid! Reid wasn't safe, and he was so stupid to leave Reid there by himself. Reid's not even in his right mind!

Morgan drove a bit faster. He hoped that no officers were around. He didn't have time to waste waiting to get a ticket. He needed to get to Reid.

After a good 38 minutes, he found himself at the familiar apartment complex. He jumped out of his car and quickly ran up the steps. The door was wide open. Did he leave it like that? Morgan slowly entered the apartment and looked straight towards the couch. He could see Reid sleeping peacefully, and he felt himself relax slightly. But he looked towards the ground. Someone was obviously in the apartment. Years of profiling made him notice the slight scuffle of the carpet, as if someone was dragging a leg or something. It scared Morgan. He didn't think Reid was safe. Maybe it wasn't Mark. Maybe it was someone else. Morgan didn't feel bad though. He always wanted to beat down that SOB. Morgan quickly stepped to Reid's side. He wasn't sure if Reid would wake up at this point. Morgan wiped the hair out of Reid's face and tapped him lightly.

"Spencer, wake up," Morgan said quietly. He couldn't help the silent alarm that was going off in his head. The apartment felt colder. When Reid shivered, Morgan knew it wasn't only him. Someone messed with the thermostat.

"Come on Reid, open those big brown eyes for me," Morgan urged gently. He couldn't help but scan the room. He wasn't sure if he was expecting someone to be in the apartment, or just because he was still slightly paranoid.

He heard Reid sighed quietly and automatically snapped his attention back at the young man.

"That's it Pretty Boy," Morgan smiled slightly. Reid opened his eyes tiredly. For some reason Morgan thought Reid looked like a corpse. He didn't blink, he just stared straight ahead. It was hard to tell if Reid was breathing and he stilled.

Morgan pushed the thought aside. He never wanted to imagine Reid as a corpse, let alone see him as one.

"Spencer?" Morgan said quietly. Reid's eyes snapped to his and Reid slowly blinked. Why was Morgan waking him up so early? Reid pushed aside the small pang of annoyance and slowly pushed himself up. His body was failing him at the moment and Morgan took note of this instantly.

"I got you," Morgan said softly. Reid nodded gently. Morgan frowned. Reid should be asking a million questions. The main one he was expecting would be, _why are you waking me up? _

"I'm going to grab you some clothes and we are going to go to my place, okay?" Morgan said gently and Reid nodded although Morgan could see the confusion in his eyes.

Morgan quickly got up and grabbed a random bag, he quickly put some clothes in it and hurried back into the living room where Reid was waiting patiently.

"Can you walk?" Morgan questioned. He saw the hesitation in Reid's eyes before the kid nodded. Morgan was sure that Reid wouldn't be stable and decided to help him anyways.

They made their way down the stairs and towards Morgan's car. Morgan helped Reid in and locked the door as he ran back up the stairs. He made sure to close the broken door thoroughly. He went back down to the car and smiled when he noticed that Reid was already asleep.

He drove cautiously to his home and carried Reid inside, carefully placing Reid in his bed. He was hit with a sense of déjà vu and went downstairs once again. He knew Reid would be safe now. Maybe he could finally catch some sleep.

…

Reid slowly opened his eyes. He frowned. He was not in_ his_ bed. This was not_ his_ home. This was Derek's house. He blinked in confusion. What the hell happened? He remembered going home, seeing the door unlocked, the strange note, not giving a fuck, shower, pill, then blank. He still kept thinking. The blankness would have to end eventually. That's when he saw it. A simple face. Morgan. Then blankness again, up until now. Reid frowned, but the thought was pushed to the back of his mind as a wave of nausea hit him. Reid forgot about the little side effects from taking that pill. It wouldn't last long, that much he knew. He would just have to fight the cravings for dilauded afterwards. There was a tap on the door and Morgan walked in.

"How are you feeling?" Morgan questioned leaning against the door frame. Reid felt guilty. He let the unsub get to him. He listened to the man, and he knew that he should have cared a bit more. What confused him the most was why Morgan would be there for him. Reid practically ignored him.

"Look, I don't know what happened and why I found you high as a kite last night, but I think it would be a good idea as to tell me what happened," Morgan urged gently. Reid looked down at the sheets. He didn't expect to get caught. He felt so bad for hurting Morgan, but Morgan didn't know he did it to himself.

"Nothing," Reid managed to say. It was the most obvious lie, and he knew that Morgan knew it too. He watched as the disappointment filled Morgan's eyes and Morgan crossed his arms.

"I thought we were going to keep lies out of this relationship," Morgan stated looking Reid in the eyes. Reid looked away once again. He could feel the anger hit him as well as nervousness. Reid took a deep breath. He wasn't going to fight with himself. It was time for him to say what was on his mind.

"What relationship?" Reid questioned watching the disappointment turn into hurt.

"What relationship? Spencer our relationship!" Morgan shouted. What was this? What was Reid talking about?

"Morgan, I've been thinking about this for some time…" Morgan felt his heart sink to his stomach. Was this really happening? He tried to take a deep breath. This couldn't be happening right now!

"I do care about you a lot, but this doesn't feel like a relationship," Reid finished. He didn't want to say this to Morgan. He really didn't but once again, he had to be honest about what he was feeling.

"You said you loved me," Morgan frowned in confusion. He wasn't sure what to do at this point.

"I do," Reid stated.

"Then why—" Morgan couldn't finish the question, but Reid knew exactly what Morgan was saying.

"Morgan. You're not comfortable with this—_us_. You're trying, I understand, but I can't keep doing this to you, and I refuse to keep lying to myself that you will one day stop questioning your decision. I just want you to be happy," Reid sighed standing up.

"I'm not exactly happy Spencer," Morgan snapped and Reid flinched. "Yesterday you told me you missed me! Is it because I wouldn't take advantage of you!" Morgan shouted and Reid look at him in shock.

"I, uh, didn't remember that, but no! Derek, that's the last thing I want from you and I do miss you. I miss everything we had when this first started," Reid explained. He kept his head high. This wasn't going to be easy for Morgan, but it was better this way. Reid wished he hadn't just lied. He was honest when he said that it didn't feel like he was in a relationship and that he only wanted Morgan to be happy. Truth was, he still felt that their relationship was growing, not getting weaker as he implied. He only did what he had to do, because sometimes, he knows when things aren't looking too good for him. He knew that he may never see Morgan again after today. He just hoped Morgan wouldn't care after this.

"Spencer.." Morgan said still in slight shock. Reid looked down at his feet. He didn't want to see Morgan's tear-filled eyes.

"I have to go. Thanks," Reid said softly as he pushed passed Morgan. Reid sighed as he stepped outside. He didn't even have a car. Reid shrugged. It would be a decent walk. He looked around him. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining high, birds chirping, and he heard children in the background laughing. He enjoyed watching the wind play with the trees, making them appear like they were dancing, but Reid couldn't find the will to smile. He knew what was going to happen. The unsub won. There was a reason he never discussed with the team what he heard the unsub say. What the unsub did say to him. In a way, he was the unsub. They were the exact same except Reid only fought everything inside of him. The unsub was tired. Reid understood the tiredness. He was tired as well. Tired of seeing the worst of humanity, tired of remembering everyone that had hurt him, tired of feeling like a waste of space, tired of hurting himself and everyone around him. He didn't even know he was crying until the wind hit his face.

He was numb soon after. He couldn't feel his legs move as he walked up the stairs to his apartment. He stopped once he saw that the door was wide open. He wanted to panic. Then again he hoped whoever was there would just shoot him. Reid walked into the kitchen. His conscious tried to force him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. The conscious was just a mundane voice that spoke from personal and taught morals. He was done with it all. He had enough. He wondered how long he was tired, and why it just decided to hit him now. He hadn't even known how tired he was until he met that unsub. Maybe that was all he needed. Someone to explain to him what he was feeling. He grabbed the knife. Did it have to be this way? How come he couldn't just get shot by an unsub or whoever it was that was trying to scare him? Reid didn't know the answers. He walked slowly to bathroom and grabbed every medication he could find. Just in case. He had to be sure. He dumped it on his bed and threw the knife on top. Was he being stupid? Weak? Wasn't he stronger than this? When did this all come into play? He blinked as he thought through these questions. He was weak. There was probably other ways to escape besides this. He found his other escape in the drugs, but he didn't want to be that person. He thought of his mom. She would be devastated, but she would understand. He had already wrote a note to her. Reid rose an eyebrow. Maybe this was his plan all along. He just never knew it. He just had a feeling that something bad was going to happen. He didn't think it would be at his own hands, but then again he wasn't psychic. He opened up one random prescription and took at least eight of those. He looked through another one. He was surprised to see Vicodin. Why did he have that? Reid didn't know, but he took four of those. His mind knew that was enough. Reid sighed and picked up the knife. He hoped no one would find him for a few days. He then thought of Nathan Harris. Reid ruined that boy's chance for freedom, and now Reid understood why the kid wanted out. Reid closed his eyes as he placed the knife on his wrist. He waited for his mind to scream no and tell him to call the police, but it didn't. Reid shook his head and slid the knife slowly across his skin. He felt the sting and the blood tail across his hand. He repeated the routine with the other wrist and laid on his bed. He should've apologized to Morgan. Without thinking, Reid grabbed his cellphone and typed a quick _I'm sorry_ before sending it to Morgan and shutting the phone off.

He closed his eyes. _You and your demons are one. Stop fighting them._ He felt himself began to drift off. He smiled, but heard something off into the distance.

_"Oh my gosh! Spencer what did you do!" _Spencer couldn't hear nothing more.

* * *

_**A/N: Don'thatemedon'thatemedon'thateme! Sorry!**_

_**Feel free to leave your thoughts! **_


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